I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Randomize
