I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
