I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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