i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
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