At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Randomize
