Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
