Just fell off a train. Bad.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
