i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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