I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
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We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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