whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
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