There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
