are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
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