he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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