I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
