I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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