i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Every concussion has its silver lining
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
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