I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
