hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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