How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
