I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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