I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Randomize
