My hand turned me down
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
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