i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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