I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
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How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize