YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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