so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
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