I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Randomize
