I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
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