My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
