Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
