All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Randomize
