Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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