does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize
