i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize