Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
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