she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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