I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Randomize
