I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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