I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
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