Where is the hickey?
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Randomize
