if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
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