im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
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