i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize