I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
Randomize
