You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
So apparently I’m into choking now
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
