see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
The feeling are messing with the penis
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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