i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
