oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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