I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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