birth control should be required to get into college
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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