So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
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