we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
