when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Randomize
