If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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