Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I just forgot I was standing up.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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