Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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