i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
