I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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