her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
