I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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